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A Portrait Of An Ugly Man

by Remo Drive

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1.
Oh what a glorious hour to be obscured by a mask The blind and shallow confidence has a schedule one effect While you were down you came around and you introduced yourself You did your job and did it well, gave your name and took your vows And if it feels cheap that’s because it is To construct and illusion and to live in it But if you do it right, you’ll be hard to catch And maybe never ever even noticed Oh what a fantastic game to play within yourself- Keeping all the hard to swallow bits inside your mouth You will be so likable and it will never end itself Don’t let the oxygen run out, or else you’ll burden everyone else And if it feels cheap that’s because it is To construct and illusion and to live in it But if you do it right, you’ll be hard to catch And maybe never ever even noticed I can’t remember who I am
2.
Star Worship 02:50
Hallelujah, Hallelujah I’m in love with every man who wears a guitar on his chest, hallelujah Are you my god? Are you my maker? If I fail to live in your image will my soul be damned to earth? I’m a child standing in your shoes I’m imitating all of your moves Should you look away, I’d steal your everything and try to sell it back to you I’d get away with it too Oh I wander, oh I wander from man to man Searching for myself in their written word so I can abuse it I’m a Skeksis, I’m a Skeksis near death But I could save myself if I could only taste that sweet essence Often I’m naked posing in the mirror Trying to look unlike myself I’m a child standing in your shoes I’m imitating all of your moves Should you look away, I’d steal your everything and try to sell it back to you
3.
Dead Man 04:28
Shame rolls its tongue up my back and kisses my neck It wants to get me in bed but I know who it is I’m dealing with Shame plays the long game- it wants me to break down It sings a siren song for me, but I don’t fall so helplessly now It was pitchy anyhow Well if I’m already a dead man I may as well get naked and dance in the crosshairs Well if I’m already a dead man Why not just go ahead and paint a target on my chest Fate has a chisel and is etching my name into some granite The man without a new has asked Piripero for my casket So naturally I wonder- why is it I hide? In here I prolong suffering when there’s no way I’m leaving with my life So simmer down and dry your eyes Well if I’m already a dead man I may as well get naked and dance in the crosshairs Well if I’m already a dead man Why not just go ahead and paint a target on my chest
4.
These crickets are driving me insane tonight Despite all my efforts to pollute the air their babble is branded in my mind The ceaseless and grotesque rumblings of the naked night Accent and underline all the horrors I’ve been working so hard to deny Don’t ever you worry dear as long as I’m amused I’ll be too busy for my writhing, doom, and gloom So if I ever seem to be too deep in thought Perhaps to numb the pain we turn the TV on What’s that love? You don’t like to just sit there and watch While I retreat into the depths of hell when there's a single second off? I know it probably doesn’t seem like much- but here’s a quick smile to let you know I haven’t completely fallen off Don’t ever you worry dear as long as I’m amused I’ll be too busy for my writhing, doom, and gloom So if I ever seem to be too deep in thought Perhaps to numb the pain we turn the TV on
5.
Of all the children I’ve tamed who must bear this weight you have always been one of most resistance I can’t comb your hair or eat your bread without being bitten You’re too big for my breast but too small to pay rent and I don’t want to be your second mother When you writhe and twist in your spasmodic fits I feel nothing other than bothered Often I ponder how to send you back into your mother I think you would benefit from more time in there for development How hard could it really be How hard could it really be For you to behave for me This could be easy I’ve seen every seam, every fold, and every crease in the fabric of the world you inhabit I am unimpressed by the will you possess, and the way you exercise it Just like any pest who has overstepped, there will certainly be some repercussions I will poison the well in the place which you dwell and leave without hesitation Often I ponder how to send you back into your mother. I think you would benefit from more time in there for development How hard could it really be How hard could it really be For you to behave for me This could be easy
6.
Darling, if you want to get me in the mood for loving, you’ll have to stop the world from turning as it does There is money to be made in every second I spend waking, and unfortunately, you are just a cost Between drinks, entrees, deserts, and that service charge It feels so hard for me to really turn it on Take me now I’m not sure how long we have before I’m down Honey, if you want to make me crumble at your touch, you’ll have to dress up like an apple and take me to the Genius Bar The ones and zeros are so phallic, and the prices are just wrong It feels so dirty- I just shivered Siri please play bang a gong Don’t you think the new model looks so awesome? It could be mine for only one thousand dollars Take me now I’m not sure how long we have before I’m down
7.
Ode to Joy 2 03:46
Friday night, the open window breathes life And I detect New Amsterdam upon its breath It’s laughing uninhibited I hear it’s clumsy footsteps on the pavement, stumbling to bed Friday night, may I suggest the cooking wine? It’s salty in a tasteless way and young in age- it pairs well with the mood today So pucker up and take a drink now quickly Oh what fun it is laughing at nothing By this age we all have it down A half full glass spills so easily But fear not, theres always next round Friday night, tired neon slithers through a sign. It stalks the wanderers of the night within plain sight And offers them a juicy bite of fruit aged long enough to be a very special kind of ripe. And in those bites you’ll be amused Your lips will smack until they bruise Your appetite will be profuse Your tongue will clean your dishes too And when your make-out session ends The next one will quickly begin But this time from the other end As bile kisses your inner lips Oh what fun it is laughing at nothing By this age we all have it down A half full glass spills so easily But fear not, theres always next round Oh what fun it is drowning big nothing By this age we all have it down A half full glass spills so easily But fear not, theres always next round
8.
Erik and I are the best of friends Though I’m not sure if he knows that yet Lately he’s been making some questionable decisions But I’m pretty sure I can talk some sense back into him Just relax struggling will only give you rope burn You know my terms they’re simple yet you disobey my orders I’d hate to see you hurt but how else will I ever get through to you? All I want, yes all I want is what is the very best for you. Come on you’re killing me Come on you’re killing me Just as the ancient proverb says It puts the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again I have this theory that you wouldn’t really like that But if you betray me I’m happy to test it Just relax struggling will only give you rope burn You know my terms they’re simple yet you disobey my orders I’d hate to see you hurt but how else will I ever get through to you? All I want, yes all I want is what is the very best for you. Come on you’re killing me Come on you’re killing me
9.
I’ve been up every night this week On my knees, begging please please please To any hand within my reach Won’t you pick me from among the weeds? I’ve heard the fruit is so much sweeter When there’s no sweat upon your brow I would be basking in the rays of my own sunshine Were I just given it, I could be content with myself Until then I’ll go through hell Please make my dream come true, there’s nothing that I wouldn’t do. I am a person who’s in need Don’t be deceived by my perfect teeth There is a hunger deep in me One I can’t feed without you watching me I’ve heard the grass is so much greener When strangers offer it to you I would be high and nobody would ever stop me Were I just offered it, I could be content with myself Until then I’ll go through hell Please make my dream come true, there’s nothing that I wouldn’t do.
10.
Easy as That 04:15
For someone with more convictions than most books bound in leather I’ve found it pretty easy to amend one of my chapters With this amazing trick I can make any distance jump Logical or otherwise if I get a running start I just lie to myself It’s just as easy as that Down at the western bar I studied the wood grain And through each glass the detail in the counter lost its shape Now that I’ve got this truth serum all pumping through my veins- I can tell you very honestly that my vice and I aren’t chained I just lied to myself It’s just as easy as that And if this lying has a consequence I’m sure I could say something that could change its tune I didn’t know it- “I’m so sorry” is a personal favorite, that I’d really love to use If all that goes up must come down how long do I have before I hit the ground.

credits

released June 26, 2020

Remo Drive is Erik Paulson and Stephen Paulson

Portrait of an Ugly Man was written and performed by Erik Paulson (Vocals, Guitar, Keyboards, and Aux Percussion), Stephen Paulson (Bass Guitar and Midi Programming), and Sam Becht (Drums). Whitney Smith performed Violin on "If I've Ever Looked Too Deep In Thought"

All lyrics by Erik Paulson
Recorded and Mixed by Erik Paulson in our parent’s basement.
Mastered by Greg Calbi at Sterling Sound
Produced by Erik Paulson

Photography by Connor Peck
Art Layout by Jason Link
Logo design by Mike Cortada

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